When Haggai Leader Lindiwe Msiza returned home from a missions experience in Asia, she expected to carry a renewed sense of purpose. Instead, she entered one of the most difficult spiritual seasons of her life.

The rejection she experienced did not come from the church. It came from within. She faced spiritual envy, strained relationships and an ongoing dispute involving church leadership. Over time, the weight of those experiences began to affect the way she viewed herself. The woman who had once felt confident in her calling began to wonder whether she had misunderstood God altogether.

During this same season, Lindiwe also continued to carry the experience of her sister’s gradual loss of vision. Since 2019, she had witnessed the daily realities of blindness and the effect it had on their family. Her niece became her mother’s caregiver at just 13 years old, taking on responsibilities far beyond her years. That experience only deepened Lindiwe’s desire to advocate for blind and differently abled communities, but it also reminded her that meaningful service must begin with seeing people through God’s eyes.

Lindiwe’s story is unfolding in South Africa, where Christianity is widespread and churches are an important part of community life. Yet she has also seen that church attendance does not always lead to genuine discipleship or Kingdom living. For Lindiwe, faith cannot remain within Sunday services. It must shape the way believers live, lead and serve in their families, workplaces, and communities.

Fear and self-doubt became louder than conviction. Lindiwe found herself questioning whether she was truly qualified to share the Gospel or step into leadership and ministry. For months, she allowed those questions to silence her.

But in the middle of that pain, God began to show Lindiwe something deeper. Her calling could not be built on the approval of people or depend on whether others affirmed her place in ministry.

She had to surrender the battle to the Lord.

Looking back, Lindiwe sees the Haggai Leader Experience as one of the ways God met her in that season. The invitation was more than an opportunity to attend a leadership program. To her, it felt like an invitation from God to trust him again, release her own plans and become the person he was calling her to be.

She arrived feeling honored but also unworthy, questioning whether she belonged among such remarkable leaders. Yet through the experience, she sensed God reminding her that her identity was not based on qualifications, achievements, or the approval of others. He had seen her, called her, and was shaping her for a purpose.

The Haggai Leader Experience changed the way she walked with God. Before, Lindiwe often measured her faith through the things she did and was involved in. She began to recognize that it is possible to become so busy serving that we forget to remain close to the one we’re serving.

Instead of asking, “What am I achieving?” she began asking, “Lord, who am I becoming, and how can I please you today?”

That question now shapes her leadership and ministry. Whether she is supporting blind communities, or equipping leaders, Lindiwe is learning that God equips people not so they can serve their work, but so their work can flow from an identity rooted in Christ.

written by Leah Spivak